Workin 9-5

Each family has to decide what is best for their family when deciding if both parents will work or if one will stay home. Neither decision is better than the other and both come with their challenges.

For my family we knew that I needed to go back to work. My job had the better benefits package and I loved my job too much to leave. So over the last 10 months I have had to learn how to be both a mother and an employee.

Wearing both hats has proved challenging more than once during that time, but today I wore both hats simultaneously and I have never been so exhausted. I have also never been so thankful to work in a place that loves my child and who she is comfortable being around when needed.

Being a working mom is the hardest thing I have ever done. Juggling your responsibilities both in the home and the work place is exhausting, stressful, and guilt ridden. Like I said before I love my job, but the guilt I have when it requires I work extra hours or takes my attention while I'm at home is very real.

I once read someone say that working moms get an 8 hour physical break from their child and responded with a bit of frustration. This isn't because it is untrue, but because it did not take into account the fact that working moms typically replace physical attachment to their child with emotional attachment/guilt. Often skipping lunch, bathroom breaks, and social events in order to complete their required tasks and then make it home to their families.

Working moms also face pressures when they have a sick child that requires them to stay home from work. Some jobs are easily completed while home (well not easily if you are home alone), but many jobs require you be physically present to complete your job duties.

I've been fortunate enough to be able to bring a sick Bug in with me to finish a few quick tasks and grab tasks that can be completed at home. They've been supportive and flexible as we've struggled with frequent sinus infections and fevers. They understand that as a mom you want to be at the doctors appointments and home comforting your baby of at all possible. And that babies sometimes favor one parent over the other when they are unwell. But I still have responsibilities that require I be physically present and it is hard when I neglect those duties because baby bug is sick or has an appointment. This isn't because i'm made to feel guilty, its the opposite in fact, but I have the guilt none the less.

I've used the word "mom" throughout this article, but all of this can be said about dads, grandparents, aunts/uncles, etc. Being a parent/primary caregiver for a child is hard and each has my respect for keeping their tiny human alive and safe.

She Needs Wide Open Spaces

Before we had Baby Bug people always told me how challenging it was to travel with a baby. Whether you are going on a quick trip to the grocery store or traveling 12 hours to visit family, going places with a baby takes planning and fore thought to avoid being caught without the essentials!

I learned my lesson the hard way to always over pack the essentials so that you are never caught without! Long story short, Bug had a blow out and I only had one wipe. I had to use lemon scented moist towelettes to clean her bum!

We have also learned how to pack the essentials in small spaces so that we can go places like hockey games without having to carry around the entire diaper bag. 

In her short 10 months we have successfully, but not without stress, gone to see Jeff Dunham, a hockey game, visited a haunted forest (well she and I just rode to the entrance of the forest and back while the rest of the group did the walk), went to an amazing wedding, visited the art museum and attended pride, the Columbus Arts Fest, and ComFest. We also survived our first hike in Hocking Hills, OH, went to her first concert (Jim Gill), and a 13 hour drive to and from Virginia Beach. 

A collage of our many adventures!

Each of these has been an adventure and all have been more than worth the stress that they caused for the memories and time with family and friends. 

Tips for exploring with baby:

• Invest in a formula dispenser for bottle fed babies. The 3 compartment munchkins are nice for trips when you are going to take the diaper bag. Ziploc bags are great when you have limited space.
• Save wipes samples for times when wanting to take as little as possible. See the freebie post for more info on where to stock up on these!
• When going to a house that is not home to a baby, be sure to bring your own stash of toys to entertain baby. And be ready to quickly baby proof everywhere you go!
• Finally, don't set your expectations too high. Be ready to leave early, take a walk with baby during portions of the event if at a concert or similar event that involves sitting, and don't push your self too hard. Stop to sleep if you're on a roadtrip, leave early if baby is losing it, and get creative in how you enjoy the event (stand in the walkway if you can, find a place that allows you to stand, or a grassy space for baby to explore and move)

Most importantly always remember to have fun with baby and don't worry if you don't make it through an entire event or outing. Each baby is different and not all do well going out for long periods of time. But I was given the advice that if going different places is something you are going to do with your child, you should start doing it with them now and I am forever grateful for that advice. 

If You Seek Amy..

As the mom of a high need baby i rarely get half a second to myself. I feel as if Baby Bug has a magnet attached to her butt and I have the opposite magnet in my hip. Even in bed she is snuggled into me throughout the night. And during the work day she (or I) sometimes manages to find a way for me to visit her in class and snuggle.

With all of this physical attachment I am typically done with being touched by the end of the day. So what does this mean for my relationship with my husband? How do we keep the spark alive when I'm exhausted constantly, possibly haven't done more than a quick rinse in the shower in a few days, and I only get a couple of hours to myself if I'm lucky? Sex after having a baby is hard and even more so if you bed share.

The first few months can be challenging because your body is healing. If you had a c-section your body has a major surgery to recover from. If you delivered vaginally you may have tearing or cutting to heal from. And just plain giving birth does crazy things to a body!

Bottle feeding mommas are lucky in that we don't have the added stress of worrying about leaking and sore breasts when trying to get back in the saddle (why is this a saying, I'm not sure, but it works...). Nursing mommas have my respect in dealing with that added layer, but maybe it isn't as big an issue as I'm assuming.

For me it took months to feel like myself enough to want to be physically affectionate. Fooling around and kissing came easy, but full on sex was just not appealing. I found my husband as attractive as ever, even more so now that he was such a good daddy, but I didn't quite feel human until about 7 months postpartum.

Thankfully I have a very patient husband who got a bit frustrated at times, but also understood why I didn't want to be touched and why I didn't have the energy to even think a sexy thought let alone do sexy things.

New mommas who find you don't want to be touched or do any touching once the baby is down for the night, you are not alone! Find other ways to be intimate with your spouse. Make each other laugh, find humor in the every day of your new life, and most of all remind each other how you made it to this point in life together.

Grocery shopping at Kroger while Gran and Pa watched Baby Bug!