Why You Gotta Be So Mean?

Women always ask new moms two questions. It doesn't matter if it is someone you know well or if it is the nosy old lady at the consignment shop, they always want to know the same things...

The first question is always, "Isn't this the happiest time of your life?" And the people that ask you this never want to hear the truth. They want to hear you say that you are in love, that it is more than you could have ever imagined. They want to hear you guys over how amazing motherhood is. 

They don't want to hear you say "I cry when I'm home alone", or "I'm still not sure that this baby is supposed to be in my house", or "I'm more unhappy than I've ever been because I'm tired and haven't had the strength to shower in 5 days". Or even better, "I haven't taken a crap in 2 weeks, my stomach hurts worse than when I was having contractions, and my husband has had to take my baby from my arms as I sat on the toilet trying to pass the massive amount of crap that is stuck inside of me". 

So you smile kindly, tell them what they want to hear, and move on with your day. 

The second question is even more frustrating. It is always "Are you nursing?" or some variation of that question. And they want you to gush about how wonderful it is to bond with your child as they sweetly suckle your breast each time they are hungry and if you say anything else you get judgemental clucks that leave you mubling a reason that is really none of their business or giving them a snarky look and snapping something unkind. 

Nursing is absolutely one of the most beautiful things.  The sensation you get when your baby finally latches on and pulls milk from your breast for the first time is indescribable. But like everything else with pregnancy and motherhood, it is hard.  And for some women like myself, it becomes impossible. But more about that later...

And finally, some women feel the need to make comments that make you want to smack them! I once had a women tell me that my baby would EVENTUALLY bond with me in the same way that a baby who nurses is able to bond with their mother. And that is THE MOST terrible thing that you can say to a new mom. And when this happens, you simply walk away because having an assault on your record could ruin your career and would not be good for your new baby to witness.